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If you’re like most women, you’ve probably dabbled in the art of squeezing into a pair of Spanx, worn them for a day, then tried to peel yourself out of them without rolling an ankle while you hobble on one foot and pull at them with all your might. And, when you finally get them off, there is no greater feeling, because vagina sweat.
It’s no huge surprise why tons of women use them: they smooth, they shape, they take away inches. We love our Spanx and they’ve saved us from showing our panty lines, supported our muffin tops and made us feel like a dangerous women. They were the only solution for me when I was in a wedding eight weeks after giving birth to my second child—that damn dress had to fit come hell or high water. I walked down the aisle on a very warm day wearing two pairs. You could have bounced a quarter off my ass.
We all like to be smoothed out a little in our midsection, whether we advertise we’re sporting a modern-day girdle or not. Sometimes we’re more comfortable when we’re all tucked in underneath our skinnies or favorite little black dress. I get it, I truly do. But why couldn’t we just stop with the belly, thigh, ass area and only use them once in a while?
And while some may even be thanking their lucky stars that Arm Spanx are now a thing, I just have to say something: all these restrictive garments we’re putting on our body to hold in our stuffing has got to stop. Like, now.
When I see an undergarment that makes women of the world think they should be sausage-casing their arms, I have to call bullshit.
Just seeing something as restrictive and uncomfortable-looking as this makes me want to scream from the top of my soapbox for all women to think twice if they believe they need to shrink their arms by wearing tights on them.
Just think about that for a second: Tights. On your arms. TIGHTS.
Our bodies need to be free. We need to stop thinking all of our lovely parts need to be tighter and leaner. You’re the only one who’s going to notice if your arms are a half-inch smaller because you decided to stuff them into a restrictive tube. And at the end of the day, no woman needs to be draped in control-top pantyhose from head to toe.
Women have been made to feel like we need to suck it in since the beginning of time. We’ve worn waist-cinchers and girdles. We’ve taped our tummies and necks back and our boobs and ass up. And all for one reason: Because we think we should be living up to some ridiculous standard.
How about we set our own standard and at least let our arms be free? How about we realize we are enough, just as we are?
How about we love our bat wings and make peace with the fact we are going to have them whether we are a size 0 or a glorious size 20?
How about we own who we are and the body we have and send the message we can be whatever size want without compromising our comfort?
Repeat after me: My arms are just fine. I am just fine.
So, let’s all stop the frenzy and step away from the arm hose.
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